Accept it, it feels awful to be a male feminist.

Not because you’re a feminist. If you think I’m implying that, nope, you’ve got me wrong there.

There’s no fault with being a feminist, despite the ridiculous assumptions by many that there is.

Feminism is nothing but a movement aimed towards gender equality.

It feels awful being a male feminist because you’re a male.

Yep. That’s pretty much it.  

Male Privilege

In most cases, the ladder is invisible. Such is privilege.

Being born a male is equivalent to having been dealt a special card in the game of life. And you just cannot get rid of this trump card (pun intended).

No matter how high you climb the ladder of success (or failure), you’ve got to live with the fact that your ladder was rigged from the beginning to pull you up.

If life is a metaphor for a video game, you’re playing it on the easy setting since birth. Every other hardness you experience is under this difficulty level itself.

Sounds disappointing, isn’t it?

That’s how it feels when you realize the ignorance you’ve had about your privilege in this world.

Sometimes, it’s even depressing to think about it. No wonder many choose to take the Blue Pill. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. We accept the life we think we deserve.

So, any complaints from your side (and mine) are just petulant whines.

With all things considered, being a feminist isn’t even such a great deal. It’s a basic necessity to be a decent person. It’s made to be such a big deal only because of all the backlash it receives (from both ignorant and deliberate sexists).

Being a male feminist feels even more bad if you subscribe to rationalism and freethought.

Rationalism teaches you that the world is a bleak place with no scope for natural justice. It’s up to us to make justice in this world, whatever our definition of justice is.

So, as a male feminist, the least I can do is stand from the sidelines and support women’s rights. Especially so in my personal life.

I can also become a feminist activist, but I have qualms against that. Why? I’d take up more space that I should, defeating the same cause I wish to support. Feminism should always be lead by women. Of course, with support from everybody.

Anything less than that, and I’m not doing enough. 

That means sometimes I have to give up certain things I desire, even though I want them pretty badly. And that never feels right.

I might find myself asking “Why should I restrict myself because of what my ancestors have done?” or “How am I to blame for this?”.

If I became aggressive enough, like the many who subscribe to “egalitarianism over feminism” argument, I might even start attacking feminism itself (watch out for the word feminazi). This is a pretty common trend in atheist circles.  

It also means trying to smile through the conversations dudebros usually have. Trying to hold yourself back from sexist forwards and memes. Keeping quiet when you don’t want to (though I usually don’t).  

Unfortunately, people who indulge in such behaviour also happen to be some of your closest friends or colleagues (includes women too).

So, you see, it feels awful being a male feminist because you’re trying to fight a system which by default privileges you over the other sex.

That won’t stop me from calling myself a feminist. It’s just that I have to live with the fact that it feels terrible being one. I have nothing against that, and neither should you. My actions will define what I truly am.

P.S. The funny (and true) aspect of being a male feminist is that I don’t even get to label myself a feminist (like I have here). It’s up to women to recognize me as one.

Salman Ravoof

Salman Ravoof

Eccentric, mildly sarcastic, and very straight forward. A geek at heart. Adventure, science, and intelligence excite him. Likes to keep rummaging through random topics in his free time. Always ready to learn, except when he's hungry.Connect with him on Google+, Facebook and Twitter